This is what happens when
you get too much coffee and
not enough exercise.
This morning I awoke speaking Australian
To a mob of high school kids who
Loved my books and the TV series
Based on them. They wanted to know
How I allowed this certain actress
To play the ballerina assassin. So
I asked, what actress?
What TV show?
What rights got sold?
Why am I speaking Australian?
So I called my agent up and
Her office was closed and
It would cost $20 for her
To call from vacation.
So I called the film agent
Who was on vacation at
42 Wallaby Way, Sydney.
In the background
The high school kids
Chanted my name, “Rob Thomas! Rob Thomas! Rob Thomas!” and
I realized things had gone horribly wrong
In this dream I was dreaming in Australian
And learning that I
Was a cheap Veronica Mars knock off.
At least I was still dressed
And wearing good boots with
Goodyear welt construction and
Cordovan shell leather.
But even if you’re dreamland naked,
You can wade through a lot
Of anxiety if
You’re wearing a pair
Of good boots with thick soles.